Let's Put A Smile On That Face !

Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker... and a fiend. One night, he comes home crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not... one... bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious? He comes at me with the knife - "why so serious?" sticks the blade in my mouth - "let's put a smile on that face!
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Pet Peeve

Bank manager: You think you're smart huh?.But the guy that hired you, he'll just do the same to you. All criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor... respect... Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? What do you believe in?!
Joker: I believe…whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you…stranger.
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Jokes Apart...

Oh, you look nervous. Is it the scars? Wanna know how I got 'em? Come here, look at me. See, I had a wife — beautiful, like you — who tells me that I worry too much, who tells me that I ought to smile more, who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again, hmm? I just wanted her to know that I don't care about the scars. So I stick a razor in my mouth and do this… to myselfAnd you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves! Now, I see the funny side. Now, I'm always smiling!
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32 Piece Orchestra !

"The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fool! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'"
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Licence To Kill

Joker: It's simple, we, uh, kill the Batman.


Maroni: If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?


Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.


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Why So Serious ?

"Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... if I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Ha ha ha!"
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